Monday, May 18, 2009

High Fives in History: George Washington's Inauguration

After the ratification of the Constitution in 1788, George Washington was unanimously chosen by the members of the electoral college to be our nation's first President in February of 1789. On Thursday, April 30, 1789, on a balcony in Federal Hall overlooking Wall St. in New York city , Washington was sworn in before a jubilant crowd. Because there wasn't any sort of established protocol for how this ceremony would go, they sort of had to wing it. His Excellency, no doubt jazzed up by the crowd and one of history's true bros, decided to culminate the event by throwing some skin at Chancellor Robert R. Livingstone, who had conducted what Washington later called in his journal, "a fully badass ceremony."

Because video cameras were not to be invented for seven or so score, we are only left with artists' stop-motion renderings of the events . This has led to the unfortunate misconception that Washington stood with his right arm raised for the entirety of the ceremony. This erroneous interpretation was proliferated to the point that it ultimately begat the modern tradition whereby President Obama reverently raised his right arm the whole time he was being sworn in this past January. I implore you, however, to look at the facts: First of all, you can clearly see in the picture that Livingston's right arm is on its way up to meet his boy George. Secondly, there were way too many bros present - enthused at having recently won independence from Britain then having replaced the trifling Articles of Confederation with the more durable Constitution - that would have considered it an insult to leave their new leader dangling up there for that long without spotting him some love. Even Vice President John Adams, who is generally known amongst historians to have been a total jealous prick, would have been embarassed not to hit Washington up before the blood started to leave his hand.

For more on Washington as a bro, I recommend you consult this video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-69414486881463942

High Five Icons: Techmo Bowl



Every true bro has played Tecmo Bowl at some point. Even if you didn't have Nintendo growing up, you either played it at your spoiled neighbor's house or at college with those guys in your dorm hall that tried to be old-school cool and smoked copious amounts of weed. Anyway, it is pretty much universally recognized as the first great sports video game and I think we all know why - because it incorporated the realism of being able to throw the ball much further than normal by running 40 yards backwards and then being able to give your teammate a towering high five after he made the improbable leaping grab between 5 defenders. If Tecmo doesn't put that high five in the game, I think we as a society eventually get bored playing sports video games and go back outside where we can actually celebrate scoring a touchdown. It was that important.

High Five Makes Music History: Pearl Jam's Ten



Not only did Pearl Jam's inaugural effort sell millions of copies, earn them critical plaudits, and launch the career of one of rock music's most celebrated bands, but it also came sheathed in a picture of the greatest high five in music history. I like to think that they were all sort of hanging out in a pink room and someone, maybe bass player Jeff Ament, said, "Bros, I think we should form a band." Eddie was all mumbly and indecipherable in response but when he moved to the center of the room and extended his arm as high as he could, the rest of his band mates-to-be met him there with a 5-man high-flier. The rest, as they say, is history. In this historic five's wake, Mike McCready spontaneously learned to play guitar and they laid down the tracks that would become one of the greatest albums in rock history. Also, it's a little known fact that original drummer Dave Krusen was kicked out of the band a few months later when rhythm guitar player Stone Gossard looked closely at this picture and noticed that he wasn't fully extended.

Welcome! ^5!

What's up, bro? Do you like high fiving? Do you want to learn more about the art and history of the high five? Do you have any sweetass pictures of you giving high fives to your bros that you want to share with the world? Well, bro, this is the blog for you. In the coming months, I'll use this space to spread love for this greatest form of non-verbal communication with hopes that my children and my childrens' children can know the joy of high fiving bros of all colors, creeds, and cultures. Now, it is with the sincerest sense of duty that I ask you to go forth, find thine nearest bro, and implore him to go up top in the name of all that is good in this world.